Apathy is one of the greatest faith killers, and it infects teenage boys at an alarming rate. What can you do, as a youth leader, to pull guys out of their apathetic state? I’d like to remind you of four basic biblical truths that will put you (and the guys in your youth group) in a place to annihilate apathy. These truths are implemented especially well in the context of small groups.
1. Pray for your guys
I know this seems obvious, but are you praying regularly for your guys? Could it be that God is not moving in their hearts because we are not praying for them (I John 5:14)? If this is not happening, start here!
2. Develop a growing relationship that builds trust
To create a deep relationship with the guys in your group, you must spend time with them outside of Sunday and Wednesday nights. Find out their interests and attend their events (sports, concerts, etc.). Be their biggest fans right next to their parents. Go and grab a bite to eat with them at lunch or after school. Build that trust. Guys spell “love” T-I-M-E.
The famous saying, “Students don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care,” is so true. Guys will not care about what you have to say if you don’t take an interest in their lives outside of Sundays and Wednesdays.
3. Encourage them to create godly habits in their lives
As your relationship builds, you need to be challenging them to establish godly habits in their daily lives. These could include, but are not limited to, having a daily quiet time, memorizing scripture, serving, reading good Christian books, and sharing the gospel with friends.
However, if you don’t have these godly habits in your own life, your guys will never do what you ask of them. You must set the example.
Be excited about these disciplines, because enthusiasm breeds enthusiasm. Your guys should not look at you and see a boring faith! Why would they want to be a part of that?
4. Keep them accountable
Without accountability, these disciplines will not become habits. As you ask to see their quiet time, show them yours. As you ask them to say a memory verse, you quote the verse first. As service opportunities come up, ask them to come along. Read good Christian books together and discuss what you are reading. As you are hanging out, look for opportunities to share the gospel together with others.
These simple but time-proven steps will give your guys a path to follow– out of apathy and into a place where godliness thrives in their lives. You cannot force a young man to grow in his faith, but you can create an environment that will give him that opportunity.
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Gerry has been married to Kim for 28 years. They have 3 children: Andrew (25), Ethan (22), and Emily (20). Gerry’s first 27 years of ministry were as a Children’s/Youth pastor. This past year they joined the Word of Life Youth Ministries team as a ministry coach in South Carolina.
2 thoughts on “Annihilating Apathy in Your Teen Guys”
Great advice and heartfelt. Lots of experience working with teen boys. May all who read this, take it to heart and use it. Thanks
Very good advice. You do a great job living it yourself. I thought of an old quote relating to your last line. “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. BUT YOU CAN SALT THE OATS”.
God Bless, love ya.